Lessons Learned

My boys have learned a few difficult life lessons over the last week, albeit the hard way. Here they are for those of you who have forgetten such treasures or are still naively looking forward to experiencing natural "teaching opportunities" with your children...

1. If I have tried on five different outfits, have clothes strewn about the room, and am struggling to get my pants on...DO NOT, under any circumstances, remark about how large my hips are. The results are not favorable.
2. While I am desperately scrubbing the toilet (and adjacent areas) that you have peed on, under, in, and about, DO NOT - I repeat - DO NOT come to me whining, complaining, suggesting, requesting, or remarking about anything. The results are not favorable.
3. If I tell you not to leave the table until you have finished your food, DO NOT put your remaining food in the trash and tell me you are done. The results are not favorable (and your food may then taste like trash).
4. If I finally spend half the day folding all of the clean clothes I have allowed to pile up for way too long and tell you not to touch them until I get them put away, DO NOT intentionally jump into them when playing army. The results are not favorable.
5. If you feel inclined to ask me, "Mommy, are you mad?" then you better prepare yourself for the answer...
6. Chocolate helps. As do kisses and I'm sorrys.

I don't think any of them are appreciative of their new-found knowledge or its importance at this time. At least maybe their wives will thank me some day?!?